Imposter Syndrome
I have been plagued with Imposter Syndrome for as long as I can remember. I think it came from a belief that I was not smart which planted itself from a young age. So, whenever I excelled in a certain area, I would immediately question it. During my years within the Metropolitan Police, I constantly had a fear of being ‘found out’ for lacking in-depth knowledge of the law and police procedures. Of course, this was untrue and nothing more than the result of my self-doubt which, I had chosen to believe instead of thank you letters from victims and members of the public who were grateful for my help, and positive feedback from colleagues.
The final proof that should have dispelled my doubts came when I left the police and was gifted a framed certificate of exemplary service. Despite this, the severity of my Imposter Syndrome didn’t become clear to me until I embarked on my psychology journey. Due to sadly common issues faced by women who want a thriving career and a family, the swing of the work / life balance pendulum hit me hard when I could no longer keep all the plates spinning mainly due to having two girls aged 1 and 3 whilst working shifts as a detective within Child Abuse. Enrolling in an MSc in psychology and coaching was one of the best decisions I ever made. I enjoyed every second of it and loved having something that was mine and separate from my other roles as mother and wife. I devoured all the reading materials and opted out of various family holidays to stay home alone to read and study. As I write this and with the gift of hindsight, I can accept that I was deserving of every distinction I received. But, at the time for everyone I got, I found myself calling the university and questioning it,
“Are you sure this is right?”
“Can you resend me the grades please?”
“Has there been a mix up?”
It wasn’t until I was on the phone again to question the grades of another assignment when I was informed that this was the 6th assignment I had called in to question. Ok, I need to stop. I will be honest with you, in the end I put my high grade down to lenient marking. But this is the effect of Imposter Syndrome, and while it can push us to work hard and excel it can also be debilitating and exhausting.
The term Imposter Syndrome (IS) was first coined in 1978 by researchers Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes at Georgia State University. It is characterised by feelings of inadequacy, doubt in one’s abilities, accomplishments, and strengths. Strong feelings of inauthenticity create the belief that at some point you will be ‘found out’ and exposed as a fake. Sufferers believe that their success is down to luck or timing rather than their competence and hard work, assuming they are not ‘good enough’ and will never be able to live up to others’ expectations. Sadly, yet perhaps unsurprisingly Imposter syndrome is most common in female leaders, most notably in those who would describe themselves as perfectionists with a tendency to compare themselves to others.
Causes of Imposter Syndrome
Whilst in some cases IS can be traced back to early childhood where a child may have received mixed messages around achievement, Clance and Imes also believed that it can manifest in;
Those to whom success came quickly or easily
People with high achieving parents
First-generation professionals
Members of minority groups
Students
Professional women
A common trigger for Imposter Syndrome is taking on a new role. This is due to a perceived high expectation from others or a self-imposed belief that we should have extensive knowledge of our new role. This pressure can cause sufferers to overwork and over-prepare leading to burnout and a debilitating fear of failure. Most often, IS shows up in situations where we lack experience and feel we don’t know enough. Usually, these feelings reduce over time as we get better acquainted with our new role and responsibilities and build on our knowledge and experience.
Managing Imposter Syndrome
On my journey towards managing Imposter Syndrome strengthening my relationship with myself has been fundamental. We can all do this by developing self-awareness and defining our own version of success and happiness, not a version based on what we see others striving for around us. Having this clear vision of what happiness and success are to us reduces our need for others’ approval which will help you walk your path and stay on track with your goals. Seeking your own assurance before that of others will help you to accept your efforts and accomplishments.
Taking steps to manage your imposter Syndrome will also improve feelings of anxiety and depression.
Here is what you can do.
Share your worries with someone you trust.
Confide in somebody that you trust and tell them what is worrying you. Seeing things from their perspective will help you to separate what is real from what your insecurities have fooled you into believing. Seeking out a mentor at work or a coach could help you to set clear expectations and better understand how you can improve in the areas you are not yet confident in.
Ensure your thoughts are empowering and encouraging you.
Pay attention to the words you say to yourself. I honestly believe the quickest route to noticeable self-confidence is in how we speak to ourselves. It has been said many times, but speaking to yourself as you would a good friend will have you reaching your goals and bouncing back from adversity much quicker than beating yourself up over small setbacks ever will. Over time what we repeatedly tell ourselves becomes our truth so start celebrating your wins and recognising your efforts.
Create a Motivational Manual
A Motivational Manual is what others may call a strengths list, except it motivates you to keep going when you begin to doubt yourself. To create your own Motivational Manual make a list of all your achievements, traits, wins, and proud moments both big and small. We often struggle to give ourselves the praise we deserve yet, find it so easy to acknowledge the efforts of others. (If it helps imagine you are writing this list about a friend). Feel free to include lovely things that others have said about you. List as many things as you can possibly remember, keep updating this list too. Whenever you begin to doubt your greatness, and question your success read your list and acknowledge that all those things can’t possibly just be down to luck and good timing. I have a copy of my list saved on my phone so I can always access it when needed.
Swap perfection for reality
I don’t need to tell you that perfection is an illusion, that it is unattainable and unrealistic. Deep down you already know this is true. Do yourself a favour and stop expecting it from yourself. Perfectionism is imperfect in itself because it stops us from achieving and moving towards our goals. In our quest for perfection, we fail to show up and deliver because we are too busy tweaking. Whenever you are met with a task, deadline, project, or goal, ask yourself;
What is the minimum I can do to deliver this?
What would I happily accept from someone else?
Once you have met that mark set yourself a small time frame for how long you will allow yourself to ‘perfect’ it, e.g. 20 mins. After that tell yourself “I have done a great job” and then let it go.
Never underestimate the power of the word YET.
It is a fact of life that we will all go through some steep learning curves. Whether this is in our career, relationships, parenting, or in business, our level of knowledge and experience started at zero. Through steady progress and perseverance, we have gotten to where we are now. Hold on to this when you find yourself in a new situation where a lack of knowledge and experience may have you frozen in fear or worry and apply the power of the word YET. For instance,
I have not got a good grasp of this yet.
I can’t run 5 k yet.
The word yet is a reminder that what you are striving for is within your reach.
Don’t live in your comfort zone
Fear is our mind’s way of keeping us safe and away from danger. Listen to what your fear is telling you but don’t let it control you. When you feel fear or worry ask yourself what it is that is worrying you the most and then plan for ways to navigate past that. Staying in your comfort zone may feel comfortable but nothing grows there. The more you stretch yourself the more you can attain.
Work on building your confidence
Sufferers of Imposter syndrome are often intelligent and empathetic individuals. However, a lack of self-confidence is a common trait. Following the steps above will help your confidence, but it is important you seek out other ways to strengthen your confidence and self-belief.
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